The $40 Bermuda Cruise
A man is walking past a travel office when he notices a billboard announcing "4
day cruise to Bermuda - $40 all inclusive." Impressed by the low price, he
races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces "I'm here for the
Bermuda cruise." Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and
knocks him unconscious. When the man wakes, he finds himself in
a life raft drifting about off the coast of North Carolina. After a time,
his vision clears and he notices another man in the same predicament on the
other side of the raft. "$40 Bermuda cruise?" he calls out. "Yep!" says the man
on the other side. "We must be near a shipping lane do you think a ship will
pass close enough to pick us up?" he yells. "Well," calls the other man, "one
did last year."
Comical questions from cruise passengers:
"How does electricity get to the ship after it leaves port?"
"Is the complimentary shuttle free?"
"Do the waiters live on the ship?"
"Does this elevator go to the back of the ship?"
A puzzled passenger staring at thousands of snapshots displayed in the ship's
photo gallery, asked: "How will I know which photos are mine?"
A passenger asked if the ship had generators. The straight-faced reply: "No,
we've got a bloody long extension cord!"
An extremely upset passenger was in the lobby. "What's the problem?" the purser
inquired. "I've paid all this money for a cabin with a window,'' the passenger
replied. "Well, don't you have one," he queried. "Yes," said the passenger, "I
have a window, but all I can see is the parking lot!"
During a day at sea, a passenger on Lido deck asked the captain: "Is that ocean
water in the pool?'' "Yes," he answered. ''See?'' the woman said, turning to
her friend, ''I told you that's why it's so rough in the pool."
"What do you do with the ice carvings after they've melted?"
A panicked passenger telephoned the purser's desk from the cabin: ''Please help
me, I'm stuck in my cabin,'' the distraught passenger's voice wailed. ''I see
two doors, but one goes to the bathroom and the other has a 'Do Not Disturb'
sign on it!''